Day 211, 8:28PM- Clearly I have not posted what I said would have a week ago about a certain event/chain of events which has triggered an abrupt but welcome change in myself.

It could be described as a an epiphany, simple as that.

Well I can reveal and further discuss what "the event" was. This would be considered anti-climatic to most of you reading this but not to me. 

Reason as to why I have altered dramatically is because of the end of something, the end of a 10-year spanned film series.

A couple of weeks ago was known as the end to the world wide phenomenon, Harry Potter. Reasons as to why I have changed on the basis of the end of Harry Potter, I cannot explain. 

All that can be done is guessing. I suppose when an unexpected end of something great will cause you to see things differently and from different angles. Liking different things, people or discover you actually hate people you originally liked. There was a time, before this realisation, where I always played video games, watched TV for long periods of time and social networked, but now that is all but the past; I rarely play video games, watch TV and rarely communicate with anyone. And you know what? It is such a good feeling. 

Even though this is the end of such a large portion of my life, more than half,

 I have come to terms with the end.

One of the only things now I love is how I weep every time I watch the very last Harry Potter at the cinema.

It just shows me how much Harry Potter, and its actors, meant to me.

I cannot string together coherent words nor do justice to describe what Harry Potter meant/means to me. 

And thing is, Harry Potter isn't the only thing that ended, but I find it the very last time where I get see Dan, Emma and Rupert together on the silver screen...

For Dan, Emma and Rupert is I want to say "Thank you", Thank You for what you have done for me over these ten years, although I do not think "Thank you" will ever be of strong enough words.

All I can do now is to savour every second of the last Harry Potter(Deathly Hallows Part 2) on the large cinematic screen, and savour it I will...

Day 204, 10:13PM- Change, oh how it effects all. For the better and the worse.

In my case it is for the better, well at least from my stand point. It so happens that recent events have changed what I do and most of all, how I feel.

The "recent event" will be discuss tomorrow in the next blog, I'll put it as something importantly huge that was(still is) such a part of my life which has, after ten brilliant years, come to its end. 

To be clear this is not of a death, but to me it is of similar magnitude.

This has affected me in many ways, I now think differently to the days of old, I have altered my interests and most importantly, what I feel...

My mentality has also, I feel, changed significantly. Specifically maturity; though my age being 16 processing and acting seems marginally further. In that I am able to see past the surface, say friendship, and through to the bare bones where the basis lies.

Although I, from self-observation, have noticed anti-social behavior which I there see sensible reasoning. Which is I think I seek more than dogmatic interaction, that being different/other intellect, that is where I think I am.

A few of my friends have noticed select alterations from the many already discussed, which has lead to their conclusion of depression; contrary to their beliefs they do not know the meaning nor my situation. I have been in that place some odd years ago, three to be precise, but this is not it. There may be some symptoms of depression but are of the smallest and the least.

Their feeble but irritating attempts of so-called "help" have been somewhat unsuccessful to say the least. However, I do act how I was before these recent events of change to keep their meddlesome noses out of my business. Even at this age, I think I deserve to be complicated if I feel so and under the current circumstances.

Thing is that they truly do not understand how I truly want to be left alone with unwanted help.

Again this erratic behavior has been due to the end of a colossal portion of my life, and the remedy to counter-act this end is just simple mourning...

7:34PM-Love is many things, simple and easy is not one.

Recently of late, I have been infatuated with a certain girl at my school, in my year level(11); she is beyond adorable and cute. I've actually kind of had a deep admiration for her since mid of 2010, but it did die down after a few months and up until around the first quarter, between Jan and Apr, of this year. That was until now, where I am once again under a powerful infatuation and completely in the dark about her personality, her mannerisms, her everything. 

I actually have not talked to her, verbally or digitally. Which there is no means of communicating with her and without her knowing that I in fact like her. Thing is, that this entire attraction is based on her beauty. That does seem shallow for a person like me, a well-overweight-teenager. But I cannot resist, the popular myth of the heart capable of more than the pumping of blood has lead me to be infatuated with her regardless, anything.

I leave you with this, is 'love at first sight' true and can it lead to a blossoming      relationship?, because this certainly feels like it...  

4:57PM- Across the state all would know today was the first day return to the toilet-shaped facility that we commonly know as school, well my school at least.

Although this was no ordinary day for me, as in the title of this post it was the first day of my unsociable regime, in which I made little contact with my friends unless they brought up a topic of conversation which I still paid little part in.

Reasons for as to why I refused social interaction is because from the day of the release of the final film in the Harry Potter series and after the screening I watched, which was on the first day it was released, began my mourning period over the end of the magnificent series. It gets thoroughly complicated and personal after this point which is why I shall leave you with what I have said.

Suffice it to say, my "friends" noticed these symptoms as depression, in which they are absolutely wrong, which I absolutely positively refuse to inform them. To be brutally honest, their pestering of nosiness as to must know why I am in this state is to say the least intolerable annoyance.

I am near to entering the second day of mourning in hope that this does not continue.

 

In greatness of the release of the final Harry Potter film, once again they were more than able to deliver a wondrous soundtrack. Absolute sublime.

This track in particular is so...

hauntingly beautiful

6:17PM- Over these few days I have ceased use of social networking and computer gaming, which I currently feel is great. In this, I have found some sort indescribable hate for most of my friends. This has been due to a recent release of a film ending a wonderful series. I feel that if I do isolate myself from most of the world around me, I will feel much closer to the actors; whom star in said film(this is a infinitely complex matter which I shan't discuss, in case of a misunderstanding). All in all, I enjoy the feeling of no contact with friends and others and loneliness is, I think, underrated. I think I will continue this new self-regime.

4:49PM- Yesterday was the release of the final Harry Potter film in the franchise... ever, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. And it was the most amazing thing I have ever had the privilege to experience. But I think I'll make this as short as possible because I don't think I would be doing the film and franchise justice with the words I would be using.
I loved the film and I thought it was better than what I expected, I wept and I loved. It was the perfect send-off for the franchise. I don't think it will ever be over for me, I will continue to watch the films and read the books til the end of time. Dan, Emma and Rupert are an enormous contribution to as why I still watch and read Harry Potter. It is incredibly difficult to put together cohesive words and sentences to describe what Harry Potter and Dan, Emma and Rupert meant and still mean to me. So I end with a simple sentence.

It was clear beautiful perfection, I will miss you; Dan, Emma and Rupert, and I will miss Harry Potter.

6:09PM- Not two days ago was the screening of the Half-Blood Prince. I've noticed a pattern since the screening of the Order Of The Phoenix, it is not the first time I've seen these films and yet I felt differently towards the films directed by David Yates, I feel that the both of the films were very powerful, emotionally. I deduce that this is due to maturity and my age. So during Order Of The Phoenix, during the scene where Sirius is tragically murdered, I felt an enormous and powerful emotional blow which I can not gather words to explain. I was... I was... I felt... It's utterly unexplainable the emotions I felt during this scene and which I seek appropriate words to describe such a scene whilst doing the scene justice. I found the same thing with Half-Blood Prince during the utterly tragic scene of Dumbledore's death, although this time I was on the verge of tears. Strange you know? I had already witnessed these scenes before in many previous screenings but this time I felt differently towards these scenes and much more appropriately might I add. Part of this is probably due to aging and maturity. I have changed... for the better. Anyhow as the title suggests, the end is near. Tomorrow, 13th July, 2011, is the screening of the last film of the enchanting and magically film franchise, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. In certain ways, I am prepared and on the other hand, I don't want it to end. A lot of mixed feelings towards the inevitable end. I also see this as another and the final opportunity to spend a day with three of the best people I have had the pleasure to know, Daniel, Emma and Rupert, whom I have yet to meet. Anywho we shall find out tomorrow...

9:08PM - Today I wept, yes I wept. It was unexpected too. Too be honest I haven't in a very long time...
Allow me to explain this sudden eruption of emotion, to cut it short, the source of this was a video on youtube. This video contained 3minutes, possibly of a much longer video, of the final days of filming Harry Potter(DH:P2). The tears were an entirely surprise to be, but a good one. The emotion was flowing, the video had the producers and the actors/actresses discussing their life before Potter and what it meant to them, the actors/actresses being Dan, Emma and Rupert, whom where all on set of the final shot. It was all too much for me, on the second viewing I fully took force of the emotion and I wept. 
As much as I would like to talk about the details of the final-days video, I would not be doing it justice, so I shan't. 
As a young teenage boy of 16, I am not afraid of sharing this. I encourage it. I see another post in this sub-topic which I may just very discuss in another upcoming post.

Sigh, sigh and sigh.
Have you ever had that feeling of realisation of forgetting something? Well I do!
Just today I adjourned to the cinema for the re-screening of Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix, which I will discuss in detail in another post, so upon receiving my ticket I am given a roll of posters from all the films(excluding DH:P2) which I found lovely and expected(were promised during a screening of the films on the promotion) so I walk to the designated cinema of which the film will be screened upon which I am seated next to two radiant girls which I immediately attempt to keep my casual appearance, after an absolutely amazing and wonderful two and a half hours including some of the credits I walk out of the cinema, WITHOUT MY ROLL OF POSTERS, I had only realised when I arrived home... I feel there were a couple of reasons behind this. 1; I am naturally short-term forgetful. 2; I was so busy caught up in my feeble and pathetic attempt to play casual and mysterious in hope to catch the two girls attention even though most of my mind had no intention of speaking to said girls and for my own selfish reason of arrogance. It must seem silly of such a reason but a person as I am, gets attached to almost anything I hold dear or has sustained a long period of time in my possession and has proved meaning and usefulness.
There is more to this than what ever lies on the surface, I shall divulge these feelings in another post, just to keep this post short... well somewhat.
Sigh...
The damage has been dealt, which I must now feel the consequences of and learn from them. Sigggghhhh, although there is the next screening of The Half Blood Prince which in hope I can ask for another roll of posters, if successful; I will have it in my clutches for the duration of the film.

Gosh darrnit, I completely forgot to blog after watching the fourth installment of the soon-to-be-finished film franchise; Harry Potter. Once again it was good to see an old Harry Potter film on the big screen, it was as if the cinema was a time machine taking me back to my pre-adolescent age. And it was just as I remembered(even though I saw it many times after discontinue screenings), it was great. As they say, for every good thing there must be a bad on the other side, and that is the fact of the inevitable end looming silently and unnoticed in the cinema. Although it is the end, it is still welcome as I am given the privilege of spending another spectacular excitement-endusing day with some of the most important people in my life: Dan, Emma and Rupert.
Please join me next time in the comtemplation of The Order Of The Phoenix.